The Perfect Mother?

Now chances are if you talk to 95% of the mothers, you know they will tell you they are not perfect, and they haven’t always followed the “rules.” This is entirely relatable to me because motherhood is hard, and no one is perfect. Yet, I still can’t figure out why motherhood is one of the world’s most judged topics. You go online, and you post what should be a cute photo of your kid, and all of a sudden someone you’ve never met is yelling at you because you decided a popsicle on a hot day was okay, and in her book, all that red food dye you just gave your kid will now damage their brain forever. My favorite is the people who want to fight about breastfeeding versus formula. Yes, we all know breastfeeding has excellent nutrients for your kid, but science has done a funny thing and made it in a can. Yes, my kid is breastfed because I was lucky enough to do that for my kid. I produce more than enough, she latches excellent, and I don’t struggle now that she’s sleeping at least four hours at a time. However, my luck is not everyone else’s, and I know numerous people who struggled to breastfeed their kids. Is breast what’s best if your kid is still hungry and losing weight or not gaining? Does it make you a better mom than someone else who makes sure their kid isn’t starving and gives them formula? Now for some reason, we decided as a society. At the same time, we type away at our computers that we could tell people what we thought about the way they were doing things, typically not in a pleasant manner and not offering advice, but we would mom shame these people. I know people who have tried everything and done everything they could to get their supply up, sometimes it just doesn’t happen for some people, and that’s okay. Now, these people who love to shame everyone and live life on this high horse have struggled somewhere at some point, and if they don’t want to admit that then that’s okay, but I feel sorry for the fact that they don’t have enough strength to say hey my life isn’t perfect. Have I fallen asleep with my kid? Absolutely, after three sleepless nights and cluster feeding for days, we fell asleep, it happens. Has my kid gotten a sunburn on accident? Yes, I am a new mom who has never had to wear sunscreen in my life and didn’t realize how light-skinned she is like her father. I let my kid sleep on her stomach, and since she was a week old, you know why? Because she was freaking sleeping, yes, I know it isn’t the safest but, she has been able to move her head on her own since day one and, she wears an Owlet monitor whenever she’s sleeping. I have learned that we all parent in different ways that will never change, and although I may not agree with something you decide at the end of the day as long as the kid is healthy and safe, that’s all that matters. I mean honestly, does it affect your life if I give my kid formula, or vaccines, or co-sleep for the first two years? No, it doesn’t, and I think sometimes we lose sight of the most important things, and that is loving and caring for that kid. We live in a society where we feel better by making other people feel like crap. We are all just moms out here trying to survive and be something great for our kids.

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